If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
Randomize
