I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
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