I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
