My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
Randomize
