Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Randomize
