what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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