Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
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