i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Randomize
