I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
