do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
I look excited, but its just a facade.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
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