Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize