Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
Randomize
