Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
Randomize
