someone get that fucking seahorse.
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
