if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
Randomize
