Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
I'm sobbing to NWA
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize
