dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
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