Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
Randomize