my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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