I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
Randomize
