He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
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