They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
Randomize
