If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
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