Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
