i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
Randomize
