Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
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