unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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