i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
