go do what you do best...puke behind churches
I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
Randomize
