Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
Randomize
