Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize