I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
the raccoons are back...
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