Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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