When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
