I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
Randomize
