In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Randomize
