Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
