I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Randomize
