He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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