So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
I faked an abortion last night.
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Randomize