i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
Randomize
