i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
