Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
we're so committed to being not committed
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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