Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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