I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Randomize
