I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
I just found puke in my bra..
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
