i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
Someone stole a lamp last night.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
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