is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
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