If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
Randomize
