I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
