How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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