first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Randomize
