Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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