YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Randomize
