she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Randomize
