He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize
