So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
Randomize
