why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
Randomize
