I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
Randomize
