You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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