return my video game
My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize
