Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
I supernannyed him into submission
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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