is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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