Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
