We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
