we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Randomize
