no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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