Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
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