My girlfriend figured out who you are.
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
