she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
