Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
Pants 0. Shit 1.
On Saturday, I sharted on my roommates dog while trying to make it smell my farts. Today I got security clearance to work for one of the most respected and secretive govt agencies in the US
It's the American dream
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
Randomize
