Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Randomize
