why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
