office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
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