i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
Randomize
