Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
Randomize
